Monday, January 26, 2009

i hate danny soto.

danny is a fucking asshole u guys. like. real talk. he always be jive talkin and what not. i really wanted to watch "MY GIRL"

i love that movie so much. and ive been wanting to watch it 4ever! and now, danny is making me watch a stupid movie called "SEMI PRO"

and its not even funny. like really!! c'mon. shut the fuck up.

im just ranting.

Sunday, January 25, 2009


well. since apparently no one reads my blogs, i don't care about making them interesting.
so. initially when i saw the episode of degrassi "take on me" i thought it was so lame. it's kinda like the movie "Breakfast Club" mr raditch gives toby, sean, hazel, jimmie and elle saturday detention. they all are very different. the nerd, the bad boy, the goodgirl cheerleader, the jock, the reject.

so. i just watched the episode again. and i really liked it.

elle learns to let go a little and that it's ok to be liked.
sean learns to not judge.
toby learns that he can be himself and still be cool.
jimmie learns that just because people arent popular doesnt mean they arent cool.
and hazel learns that its ok to do things people wouldnt expect her to do.

at the end of the episode.
toby has made a lot of friends.
sean get with elle.
and jimmie gets with hazel.

its a fun episode that changes a lot of stuff.

i love it.

now i'm watching Rock and Roll High School. a very good episode. u all should watch it.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

a new chapter in my history book

its funny. i wrote this poem in 2007 in my African American Lit Class....

"Blacks Have No History"
by angela walton 3/07

My history is bleak-
It is a string of dissappointments
Forgotten, pushed to the side, washed away, denied

My heritage is lost-
It is tangled in opression, rape, murder, pain,
separation, a long lost nation.

My forefathers are crying-
I am not the Mississippi
I am not even that great Underground Railroad
George Washington did not beget me.
I am a child of the Nile
A product of that Great Rift Valley(1)
Of Ghana. Of Togo. Of Benin.
Not a nation built so arrogantly on the backs of my people.

Long before Moses cried "let my people go"
I used to bathe in that Promised Land.
But as far as I was taught.... here....
My history is bleak.
My heritage is lost.
and so, my forefathers are crying.

but the funny thing about this is, i don't feel this way anymore. not even remotely. with Mr. Obama as our president, I have a renewed faith in black-American history. This is definitely a new chapter in what i feel is my history.

i love this change. i love the new vibe here in america. i love the hope and pride that is so thick you can almost taste it on your tongue. I LOVE MY PRESIDENT. i love his family.

i love that Obama not only stands for so much in the black communities, but he represents change in our country and LOVE across the entire world. I wake up every morning with a smile on my face just knowing that this country is changing every minute into a country that i am proud to call my own.

God Bless Obama.
God Bless My People.
God Bless The USA.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

jeopardy is a racist show

if you have ever watched jeopardy, you know that the categories generally have some kind of witty commonality....
for instance...

Little - a category asking questions about small thing
Boy - The answer contains the word Boy
Blue - a category asking questions about blue things.

so when read across, it reads "Little Boy Blue"

Well Tonight, The final two categories in the first round of jeopardy were...

"I ran for president in 2008"
"The "N" Word"

i am outraged.

i have always been a loyal jeopardy fan. but after tonight, i will never watch another episode again....

Sunday, January 18, 2009

trashy, classy, alice in wonderland...

so, this is my boss rocking out on rockband. i know right? last night on of my fellow Inside Out employees, l. deck, had a house warming party. i had a grand time. :) there was tons of booze. i rocked the crowd on rock band. i met some cool drunk kids. hung out with j. joven. (jealous, ladies? lol) phloe is the bomb. dan rocks. barry was just, barry. the party had a theme... trashy/classy fusion... hilarious. for example... j.joven wore a blazer and tie with surf shorts and flip flops and walked around with boxed wine. classic.

so, i was telling my mom about the party and she agreed that i should have a party. and so, my Alice in Wonderland themed party is ON!! its not for 4 months... so i have time. but nE1 who wants to help me make decorations to turn my backyard into wonderland, please feel free to let me know. this is what i'm going for.

not much is going on in my life right now... i hope my blog will get better when i have more going on...

so i will leave you with a quote...

"The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes, without speaking, confess the secrets of the heart"
-Saint Jerome

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

eek! aww! and ooooo!

i am deathly afraid of getting shots. and i just found out that all my paychecks are going to be held until i can produce recent TB test results. eek. i'm all about getting paid. so i manned up and tried to make an appointment with kaiser to come in and have my test done. and the soonest appointment they had available isn't until february 16th. do u know that if i wait till then, i wont get a paycheck until february 27th. that is just way too tragic, even for shakespeare.

so. this is my nephew david collin espinoza. my sister, lori, had him on december 16th. he is such a large child. and he is the joy of my days. awwww. i know what you are thinking, that kid isnt black!? but he is. lori inherited the more fair skinned genes in my family, she was always more on the yellow side. and on top of all that, his father is the whitest mexican i've ever seen in my life.

my goal is that this summer, after graduation, i want to go to greece. ooooo! i would really like someone to make it their goal to go to greece this summer too, so that i don't have to go alone. but if it comes down to it, i will go alone. i intended on traveling the world! and i want to start there. beautiful.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

welcome to the new me

hello. welcome to my blog. this blog is going to be a bit more personal than my myspace and Xanga blogs ever were. if you can read without judgement, be my guest. i will not tolerate negativity here.

i've been on a blogging hiatus. i haven't even thought about blogging in quite some time. when i lived in the valley, it was a regular thing. there was so much going on that i had a million things to say every day. and it all seemed so interesting. now that i'm back home. things have slowed down. life away from home was so fast paced. everything seemed so urgent. every day i hit the ground running and didn't stop till i passed out. i'm enjoying this however. i get to savor each day. everything seems better. everything feels better. i'm happier than i've been in years. things don't seem so fake.

i think that is what it was about life out there. everything was superficial. artificial. i didn't feel connected. some form of coping mechanism, i suppose. cause in retrospect. i was in so much pain. physically and emotionally. and everyday, i got to put on a facade. a different me. what i thought was a better me that was always trying to keep up with the me from the day before. sometimes, i couldn't keep up. and i'd get so overwhelmed that i couldn't breathe. and even when i was breathing. it didnt help me from feeling suffocated.

when i look back on my youth 30 years from now, i'm sure i'll recognize those fast times as bad times. cause i'm already starting to now. fast times = hard times. definately. and for two years, EVERY time i smiled, it was forced. everytime i feigned happiness, inside i was crying. for two years. no matter how bad i felt, i couldn't cry. i wanted to cry! i wanted to release some of those feelings that were pressing down on me, making it so i couldn't breathe. and i couldn't. it was like... i'd held it in so long, i had forgotten how to cry.

1999. i think that was when it started. the reason why i let this happen.

2006-2007. that is when it all played out.

i was mistreated. forgotten. abused. used. hurt. ridiculed. trampled over. blamed. i kept coming back for more. i did things that i still can't believe. things i haven't even told my best friend about. i disgusted myself.

i used to feel sorry for myself.

but that is dumb.

now that i am home. things feel more rational. my life is more in check. it's still hard for me to let go. cause there is still a lot of pain. i find myself trying to fake my feelings less often. i'm becoming whole again.

this new blog represents the new me. it represents the changes i want to see in myself and that i want to make in the lives of people around me.